I’m writing this letter with a pen dipped in tears. My tears. You cut me shrek. You cut me real deep. After ‘err thing we’ve been through together, this is how it ends? Don’t you know …
I hate to be one of those chicks who throws ‘err little thing that I’ve done for you in your face, but damn it don’t you remember ‘err little damn thing I’ve done for you. I was the one who put together the David Rosen Appreciation Day when Shonda Rhime’s documentary crew decided to leave you out of the Real Messy Heauxs Of DC. Memba that David, memba that???
I was the one who started the support group for you after you were sexually assaulted by Abby.
I bought you the Listerine so you could get the taste of her fingers out of your mouth, and I drove you to every meeting, then watched over you at night while you cried yourself to sleep. That was me, boo. That was me.
Then when you lost your job and had to hit your grandma up for rent money, it was me who sat in front of Walmart and collected change so we could keep your lights on. I even snuck money out of the collection plate at church so you could keep your cable on and not miss an episode of Downtown Abby. I risked my soul so you wouldn’t miss a minute of shade….
I made you the fan music video.
I made you someecards.
I gave Olivia major side eye when she made you bed down at the offices of OPA instead of letting you crash at her house like she did Huck when he looked like Hagrid, Amanda Tanner after she gave Fitz a hummer or even Quinn when she was fresh out of jail. I was like
I even overlooked it when your alter ego didn’t answer my TWO messages about whether or not he knew if they were going to put Big Shots out on DVD. I didn’t get salty. I was like…fine. Josh is busy pranking people. I’m sure he would answer my simple question if he had the time. Right? Right?
But now….I got nothing. Why boo, why?? I’mma need you to get your shit together and fast. You have one more episode to redeem yourself or it’s over between us. OVER!! Oh hell, who am I kidding. It’ll never be over.